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A core of regulars would form, resulting in either a welcoming environment for newbies or an exclusionary, clique-driven hierarchy, depending on where you went. But as one woman observed in the Sex Drive forum, chat has changed.

"At some time I cannot pinpoint," she says, "a set of people started using chat as a way to make the contact to meet or call others for sex, like it was one big pool of people waiting for an offer.... It's getting more and more difficult to find someone who'll type more than three words a line and actually spell out words."I looked, this past week, for good cyber.

, a new documentary from Canadian team Melanie Wood and Nick Orchard, explores the rising rates of internet sex addiction in Canada.

They also unintentionally function as online dating sites for the elementary and middle school set.

Instead, it was "any white chikc want 2 talk to eas India guy? One friend tells me his membership fees for Pal Talk have been worth it, getting him access to an "international circle jerk" where men and women come together by webcam and text.

Another, a companion from my old chat room, says that swinger site Adult Friend Finder has "OK" online communities, although not as good as we were used to.

I met all sorts of people, from all over the world, older and younger, and each seemingly as desperate for a true connection as I. Should I be blaming my mother, or my – mostly absent – father for feeling that something was eternally missing? I was born to a woman that didn't much want children, and who fell foul to postnatal depression a good couple of decades before the term was even coined.

And for a while at least, it all felt harmless and innocent, and fun. My father leaving didn't help, and for the first six months of my life I was placed with a notional "auntie", a family friend who became my surrogate mother throughout my childhood.

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